Hole 5: The Birthday Drop

Well, friends. We made it.

I did my best to channel my inner Taylor Swift with the Easter eggs this week. And can we give Tay Tay her flowers for a second? The woman is a MASTERMIND. I’ve never been a huge Swiftie, but I have to respect her game.

If you’ve been following The Back Nine from the start, this post and this theme won’t come as a surprise. If I was really clever, I would’ve timed this for Hole 10, but hey, we are where we are.

So… This is 40... The turn in the game of life. Do I get a free drop on this year? Can I do it again? =P

Me being the Leo that I am, I love my birthday. I say that August is the only month without a holiday, so we have to do it big. But truthfully, I haven’t always loved it. As a kid, I hated having a summer birthday. School was out, kids were away, and I wasn’t exactly the popular one. I’d get anxious about no one showing up to my parties or thinking they weren’t “cool enough.” The other girls had the parties, and they had the popularity to go with them.

Over time, though, I grew to appreciate a summer birthday, especially while living in New England. Beach weekends, Cape Cod drives, seaside Newport, even the quiet rural corners of Vermont. Summers there were special.

As I got older, birthdays became less about parties and more about experiences: seeing the world, savoring amazing food, finding moments of relaxation. Birthdays in my 30s have included international trips, exploring different wine countries, Michelin restaurants and my favorite, beach and pool weekends. And of course, the best part, great friends and company.

This year? I wanted something simple (but international lol): my best friends, the pool, and good food (and rainbow shots from Rip’s). When my best friend asked me what I wanted most, my answer was: “I don’t want to plan a thing.”

For the Type A, overly organized planner in me, that was a big deal. Usually I take on the trip-planning role. I’ve loosened up over the years, but planning is a lot, and when things go off schedule, so does my anxiety. So, this year, I let go. And let me tell you- the girls delivered.

I’m lucky to have an amazing group of girlfriends. Over the years, I’ve had different pockets of friends (which I think is normal). Some people are only meant to be in your life for certain chapters. But these ladies, some I’ve known 10 years, others for 20; these are the lifers. They know me inside and out. They’ve been there for the highs, the lows, the awkward in-betweens. They hold all the inside jokes, the tea you're not supposed to tell anyone else, the TMI moments. And this was the first time they’d all been together. Everyone clicked. No drama. Just sunshine, laughter, good food, and the kind of relaxation you can only get when you’re with people who get you. I think it's a huge testament to who they are.

That doesn’t just happen. It’s also about being intentional with who you let into your circle. Taylor recently said on the New Heights podcast, “You should think of your energy as if it’s a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.” Ain’t that the truth. At this point in life, I just don’t have the time (or patience) for the BS. My closest friends know I already have a pretty short tolerance for things (shrugs), but even more so now.

Henry David Thoreau wrote in his book Walden, “I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life… and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

Now, this city girl isn’t moving to the woods anytime soon, but that idea of living intentionally really hits home for me. Life is short, and I want to experience as much as I can in this next chapter. Still, I wrestle with balance. Sometimes I want to go out and live it up. Other times, I want to sit on the couch and do nothing. And honestly, both can feel right, or wrong, depending on the day.

This year has also brought a deeper sense of nostalgia. I’ve been appreciating time with my parents, doing things we did when I was a kid, like our recent trip back to Tahoe, where we used to spend school breaks, or cooking with my dad, or shopping with my mom. It’s not just about my own time anymore, but about theirs too. And the rainbow shots I referenced earlier- a Cabo Spring Break core memory.

Which brings me back to the turn.

On the golf course, the turn is when you look back at the front nine, the good shots, the mishits, the “what ifs.” You also look ahead at what’s left, the chances to play better, different, smarter. But here’s the thing, you can’t play the back nine if you’re stuck worrying about the front or obsessing about what’s coming next, two or three holes ahead.

The best golfers in the world use the range and workout sessions to prep, to firm up their routine and their instincts. Then, when they get to the course, they just go. They don’t adjust their swing (at least not drastically) or change up their pre-shot routine in the middle of a round.

You have to stay in the moment. Play the shot you have. Trust the clubs in your bag. Adjust to the lie, the weather, the conditions. Don’t get distracted by the storm cloud on the horizon or the scorecard in your pocket. Just play it as it lies and trust yourself.

So, here’s to 40. Here’s to the turn.

As always, if you’re here reading- THANK YOU. I hope you’re enjoying this journey as much as I am. And stay tuned, because the next Greens in Focus is going to be a special one too.

See you on the next hole. ⛳️

Special shout out to the ladies for making this birthday the best one yet!